From the Book (2)
From Chapter 8 – How to Annoy an Innkeeper
Some people seeking infor- mation about the Hummingbird call; others send e-mails. Such cyber-communications are, on occasion, entertaining, es- pecially those falling into certain categories. For instance:
Pithy: I see on your web site you do weddings. Can you do mine?
Intriguing: My wife and I recently became nudists and were wondering if it would be appropriate to be in certain parts of your inn without clothing. (I told Pam I’d answer that one, but she wouldn’t let me.)
Curious: We are thinking of coming to the Hummingbird Inn but wondered if there’s anything to do there.
Skeptical: Your inn looks pretty nice on the web site. Is it as nice as it looks? We’ve stayed in some places that looked wonderful in the pictures, but when we got there, oh my!
Defensive: Can we bring our own wine with us for consumption at your inn? We’re not alcoholics or anything like that, but we do like a little drink now and then.
Confused: Your web site says you’re in the Shenandoah Valley. Is that in Virginia?
Hopeful: My fiancé and I are looking for the perfect romantic getaway and will need lots of privacy and time to ourselves and may not even come to breakfast. Do you have any rooms set off from the others? I see two of them have whirlpool tubs. Are the tubs big enough for two people? Oh, yes, we’ll also need a king-size bed.
More and more, e-mails have taken on the style of text messaging, including truncated grammar and an unfamiliarity with capitalization. Cyber-writers seem to strive to find how little they can say in how few words. When a woman asked if we could host all the guests she planned on inviting to her wedding, we wrote back and told her we limited wedding parties to 30 or fewer. How many was she thinking of inviting?
She wrote back and said “More. Can you handle more?” Catching the fever of brevity, we wrote back, “How many more?”
Her response: “About 200.” Our reply: “No.”